I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
