Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
