guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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