He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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