is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
