it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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