I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
