Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
