We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
