Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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