I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
