yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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