Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
