News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
