Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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