He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
wow bdsm is so cute
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
