i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
is that a dick in a sweater?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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