"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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