and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
