At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
