If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
