Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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