Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
