can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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