God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
