Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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