Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
