Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
