And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If that was your dad, he is hot
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
