the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
