it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
