Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
