Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
