Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
In America we eat man semen.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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