The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
