i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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