Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize