so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
