I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
