Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
