it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
