At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize