dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Drunk is a universal language darling
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
