You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ugly people sure do ruin things
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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