Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
They have beer where we have blood.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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