Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
