I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
