He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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