you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
