he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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