we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
