where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
