just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
