3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
