So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
