I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
