True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
