just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If I die, sorry about rent.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
