he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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