I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
